Woman Haters: Why do Some Men Hate Women?

11.10.2011 | By: T. F.

Today we will present women haters. Sounds unusual? Why would anyone hate women? Read on.

A typical woman hater grew up in a dysfunctional family. (PhotoXpress)

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“I spent five years in a relationship that was mentally destructive. I truly wanted the relationship to work, but anything I did wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t allowed to be friends with anyone, my friends were worthless, my family hated him, my children were difficult to handle, and my desire for tenderness and partner relationship at home and in my household was a total idiotism. I know that his mother was the boss in his family, the dominant one, but I don’t know the rest of the family members because I saw them only once in those five years. I left a hundred times and came back again. I was leaving and coming back as long as I could and now when we’ve finally split, it took a load off my mind.”

This is the story of a woman trapped in a destructive relationship, and she is just one of many. Sometimes women are not even aware that they live in a destructive relationship, because the violence of their partner is latent. Some of them are afraid to leave their partners. Others do not see a way out of the relationship and they simply accept the role of the victim. This article presents the factors that can cause men to hate women.

Woman haters usually grow up in dysfunctional families

Causes for such a relationship arise from the primary family, if:

- the father is too strict or too passive

- the mother is passive or dominant

1. Tyrannic father/timid and powerless mother

In such a family, mother often uses her children for seeking solace in them and burden them with all the anger and disappointment of her relationship and marriage. Mother’s behavior becomes imprinted in the subconsciousness of her son because he is unable to defend her against his father. He then directs all the rage he feels because of his mother's abuse towards other women.

If the son identifies more with his father he becomes controlling and dominant when he grows up. He then directs all the rage and anger that he feels for his father against other people.

It is also possible that he identifies himself with his mother, whereby he becomes powerless, timid and incompetent to live on his own.

2. Dominant mother

The mother forms a strong attachment to her son by exaggerated control and by helping him to solve all of his problems. In this way she prevents him from becoming independent. Later, such a man will feel that his partner has the same power, frustrates him, smothers him and denies him love, and he is convinced that she does that to make him weak, powerless and dependent.

3. Passive father

If the father is a passive figure, he will send his son a message that the best way to solve problems and negative feelings is to become completely withdrawn. When the son grows up he will pass the behavioral pattern to his relationship with his partner and he will behave in the same way when he will have to face his own relationship problems.

4. Emotionally cold mother who rejects her child

Unbearable distance can be established between the child and the mother because of her suppressed emotions (for example if she never caresses the child, holds him in her arms, kisses him, etc.). When such a boy grows up, he cannot face any frustration successfully, and he considers his needs for emotions and tenderness as shameful and unacceptable. These kind of men find women cold and treacherous on the one hand, but on the other they idealize them and, as children of their mothers, they ascribe characteristics such as tenderness, kindness, willingness to help and so on, to them.

The behavior of woman haters to their partners can be charming and loving one moment and then turn to cruelty, criticism and offensiveness. They want to gain control over the woman by humiliating her and diminishing her role. They use aggressive and the so-called 'macho' behavior to defend themselves against the unacceptable feelings of vulnerability.

Although both partners are victims in an unhealthy relationship, it is the woman that carries the heaviest part of the burden. Usually, women try to find a solution to the problem, but they are unsuccessful because the only solution is to end the relationship with their partners. It is also advisable for both partners to see a therapist. Therapy is usually the only way to avoid repeating the pattern, even when they decide to end the current relationship and move on to the next one.