Why Men Love Pornography

There is nothing wrong with your partner's "secret" hobby. Blame it on evolution and mirror neurons.

"Whatever it is that draws men to porn does not reflect on the relationship with their partner." (PhotoXpress)

When the wife sleeps…

Most nights, after their wives go to bed, men spend with their computers, browsing the internet for mostly one thing - pornography. Even though they might claim that this nightly custom does not reflect on the quality of their love lives, their partners are not so sure. Many disillusioned housewives are worried that their husbands prefer pornography to making love with them. But most women have no reason to worry. "Whatever may be drawing a man to pornography, it's seldom a reflection on his partner," says sex therapist Lonnie Barbach from San Francisco. "Some women feel threatened because they are not as sexy as porn stars but that does not depend on what their partner does (not) get at home. For men this is something new and that is why it turns them on."

Do not despair

This still is a completely normal reaction. "It's often that one of the partners is more interested in pornography, and the other sees that as a problem," claims dr. Russell Stambaugh, psychologist and sex therapist from Michigan. "But it rarely presents a big problem. Many studies confirm that only 5 percent of all users of pornography websites experiences serious problems that affect their daily lives." These are very good news, considering the huge amount of people watching pornography on the world wide web. Only in 2006 porn industry made an incredible 13 billion dollars profit. Research in 2004 discovered that 25 per cent of men regularly visit pornographic websites, compared to only 3 per cent of women.

Once women understand that pornography is not a substitute for them, many couples' sex life and relationship itself will improve. (PhotoXpress)

Mirror neurons

So the question remains: Why do so many men look at photos of naked people? The answer is not simple. Arousal caused by pornography is connected to many parts of the brain. One of the newer theories claims that mirror neurons play a very important role at this. These neurons are brain cells that react in the same way when we participate or just watch specific actions. They are the reason why men like watching football games and why women prefer romantic movies. But even if we know what the effects of watching pornography are, we still do not know why we do it.

Evolutionary excuse

Dr. Stambaugh answers this question through evolution: "The male brain is made in a way, which enables them to get aroused very quickly, so men can be ready for sex whenever an opportunity arises. This is an important evolutionary mechanism for reproduction and survival of the species." Since internet pornography is always easily accessible, men like to indulge often and with pleasure.

Pornography? No problem!

Once women begin to understand that pornography for a man is not a substitute for them and once men are able to freely discuss their nightly goings-on with their partners, many couples will have a fuller sex life and a happier relationship. "Pornography in and of itself is never a problem," says Dr. Stambaugh. "The bigger problem is communication and openness among partners." Pornography can also help your relationship. You can watch adult movies together and thereby introduce something new to your bedroom.

Possibilities for experimenting are, with a little imagination, nigh on unlimited.

 

---