When to lose virginity?

3.07.2012 | By: T. P.

There’s much discussion about losing virginity. Sooner or later? When is the right time?

Don’t be in a hurry. Great emphasis is placed on that, but it has very little effect. (PhotoXpress)

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Losing virginity too early

Losing virginity early doesn’t pose a problem, but loosing it too early is problematic. Too early means that the first sexual intercourse occurs without having the good feeling that it’s time, and that a person is ready, to have sex. You might ask when you’re ready and how you know you’re ready. The mysterious answer is that you simply know when you’re ready to have sex. This means that if you’re asking whether you’re ready , you aren’t ready yet. The moment will come when this’ll feel as natural as breathing and you’ll know that you’re ready, and you won’t be asking yourself this question any more. This is one way of losing virginity too early. The other way is of a completely physical nature. The body has to be mature enough for sexual intercourse. Sex is also possible among children, but it’s a poor substitute for a real sexual intercourse. Even if you masturbate and have periods, this doesn’t means that your body is prepared for sexual intercourse. Why?

Sexual intercourse is a physical and emotional act

The body isn’t a robot that has a button you press and then it moves. If the penis is in the vagina, this transmits an impulse to the brain that is identical irrespective of your age. The interpretation of this impulse differs with age. Although you can have sexual intercourse and even children, it doesn’t means that your body is ready to have sex. Where there’s the body, there’s also the mind. In biblical terms, the mind is weak, but the flesh is strong. So, wait until your personality matures and you get used to your body and are able to control it and feel good in it. Sexual intercourse is like an act of a mental transition to another world. When you’re old enough, this transition is felt as a natural and correct thing, and if you’re too young, it’s felt as a violent initiation ritual. It very rarely happens that a person has physical problems because of having sex too early; except a bit of blood or stinging, you don’t have to expect anything serious to happen. In term of the mind, a lot of things can go wrong, but you shouldn’t take these words too seriously. It’s important that you don’t overreact if you have sexual intercourse and even if you think it was too early. This is the same as if a group of criminals surrounded you and took your phone and then left you with a bump on you head for goodbye. Some people forget about it in three days, while others are afraid of people for their whole life and become suspicious and distrustful. Old people always say; "Everything will be all right before you get married..."

Waiting to reach a socially determined point in time

People in a society solved the virginity problem in a very simple manner, as well as selected the partner and home. Everything was arranged and that was the end of it. Maybe that sounds as a somewhat barbaric act and an encroachment on a person’s rights, but it had its purpose and ensured people the strong support and stability in life. People lost virginity on the wedding night. Nowadays everyone decide to follow their own social norms, which creates confusion. One would and the others wouldn’t, while love doesn’t care about social norms. For that reason, there are conflicts in a relationship. It usually happens that a man would, and a woman wouldn’t. Then one person pushes a bit more and the other person a bit less, but they always come to where there’s warm. Men use a lot of methods, such as emotional blackmailing, drinks, persuasion, tricks and jealousy. They do it completely automatically, without thinking about it. Men, too, are just the body and their mind is weak. They can’t resist the rush of testosterone because of which they lose their reason and use all the tricks of their mind to get into a woman’s knickers. It’s interesting to watch from a distance what men are prepared to do for “love”, what tricks they use, and how low they are prepared to go. Begging is also legitimate if it helps them achieve their goals. It’s interesting that, among men, an unwritten norm exists that says to have sex as early as possible, and among women – as late as possible. Does anyone else recognise chauvinism at work? Or is this just a simple fact of natural selection? Everyone probably has his/her own answer.