When There's No Climax

Although the problem of many women who can't climax is a serious one, the solution can be easily reached. Relax, focus on your pleasure, but most of all never give up!

What's going on during female climax?

Sex experts agree that orgasm means the climax of sexual pleasure and satisfaction. At the moment of reaching it, the body is undergoing a whole series of physiological and psychological changes. The female body shows successive contractions of vaginal muscles, an accelerated heart beat, expansion of blood vessels, goose bumps and erected nipples. The most important transformation occurs in the brain. At the moment of orgasm, hypophysis starts to release endorphins, the so called hormones of happiness, which bring a feeling of comfort, deep relaxation and satisfaction. Another hormone that gets to be released is DHEA, which has a strong antidepressive effect. As a curiosity, when the pleasure is greatest, every woman spontaneously closes her eyes, which is attributed to the fact that our visual centers of the brain can't bear light due to the oversensitivity.

All types of orgasm count the same

Sigmund Freud thought that only vaginal orgasm counts; the orgasm, reached with the stimulation of the clitoris, was for him a girlish pleasure, and he considered it immature. Of course he was wrong. All experts are unanimous that vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm are equally worthy. Nevertheless, many women are still wondering whether what they experience is a real orgasm. Their fears are unfounded, as the need to stimulate clitoris is something entirely natural in order for a woman to experience sexual pleasure. Results of a French research from 1992 indicated that 8% of women never reach an orgasm due to penetration only, without the stimulation of the clitoris, even though according to the same study the last sexual intercourse that they had led to a climax in 75% of the women. Less than 0.7% of the surveyed women claimed that penetration is sufficient for their reaching a climax. The same research also revealed that 67% of women are familiar with the orgasm reached through masturbation, and 57% of them are familiar with a climax attained through oral stimulation.

The final conclusion was that female sexual pleasure doesn't depend solely on the male sexual organ, and that it isn't enough to stimulate erogenous zones and private parts in order to reach perfect satisfaction in bed. Imagination and feeling happy with the whole intercourse are essential ingredients of the pleasure brought on by sex.

Relax and let go

If you don't succeed in climaxing every time you have intercourse, this is no reason to worry. The cause is usually something banal, and the solution is thus easy to reach. For a sudden absence of climax there are two most common explanations at hand: physical tiredness and unrelaxedness. Sexologists suggest that we aren't born with the ability to experience orgasm, so it's perfectly natural if we sometimes reach it and at other times we just don't.

However, when it comes to women who have never reached a climax in their entire lives, the reasons seem to lie deeper. The nature of the problem may be wholly biological, but mostly it is linked to upbringing, first sexual experiences, traumatic events from the past, negative self-image and other psychological blockades that can be done away with through an appropriate therapy. 75% of women claim that they didn't climax during their first intercourse, an event of vital importance for the subsequent sex life, and neither did they find any pleasure in the act itself. First sexual intercourse with a lover that doesn't suit us can make achieving orgasm impossible for a long time after such an unpleasant experience. For many women, the main obstacle to reaching an orgasm seems to be the feeling of filthiness or even disgust which they associate with sex and which was imposed on them by their social environment. In order to be able to climax, a woman has to learn to be the master of her body and to free herself from the taboos and social norms that portray sex as a sin.

Satisfied without an orgasm

Numerous sexologists assure us that climaxing isn't the only and obligatory purpose of having intercourse. The majority of woman tell us that they are made happy just by having sex, by feeling close to their partners and by enjoying the intimacy of their lover's touch. They feel perfectly satisfied without reaching a climax. The experts have termed the climax, attained by feeling an intimate connection, desire, attraction and zeal, the ''emotional orgasm''; they have put it side by side to the ''physical orgasm". They also inform us that when a woman is totally relaxed and experiencing an emotional orgasm, the physical one is that much easier to reach. That's why it's important that a woman doesn't get used to faking orgasms, as this is an endless loop that will make real pleasure increasingly harder to reach. Forget about pleasing your partner and stop pretending. Instead, let go of worries, pay attention to the present moment and feel you body. The much desired Mr O will soon knock on your door.