UNCOVERED: What Women Fear Most in Bed

Sexuality begins in the head and this time we uncover what women's most frequent sexual fears are.

Fear 1: Their looks

Instead of relaxing and enjoying, some women, especially the self-conscious ones, think of their visual appearance during foreplay and even sex. Worrying about cellulites and their weight, even if they really have a problem with it, does sex more harm than good. Even though we can gain some self-confidence with better looks, horniness has nothing to do with it.

Thinking about little details, imperfections of our body only ruins our sexual pleasure. You have to know, that you will feel sexy and wanted only once you accept yourself. Your partner can also notice your anxiety and if you keep telling him of your insecurities over and over again, he will quickly lose interest. Men really do not want perfection but a woman, who likes to give herself and enjoy her naked body.

A man does not understand why his woman would fear that she is too fat or not sexy enough, since to him, the sole fact,  that he wants to have sex with her, is proof of affection that should suffice. Bear in mind, that during sex, a man does not think about your fat thighs or soft belly, but is enjoying the taste and smell of your body.

Fear 2: Does he like my vagina?

A quite common sexual fear is obsessing over the look and taste of one's own vagina. Especially young and inexperienced women are not sure, what the "ideal vagina" should be like. This is again obsessing over ideals that do not exist. Men like the natural vaginal smell, the only thing that matters is that it has to be clean and taken care of, which doesn't necessarily mean completely shaven.

This depends on individual taste and whether the current trends are followed or not. But overdoing the hygiene can be detrimental just as well, since we can destroy the natural vaginal flora. Comparing one's own labia with those of porn stars makes no sense. Just like every pair of breasts is different, every vagina is different.

Fear 3: How to sexually satisfy him?

How to please a man is not a simple question, since it depends on individual preferences. While some prefer rougher approaches, others like gentleness and slow seduction better. But you will never miss with oral sex and stimulation of the whole body, so do not forget, that the human body is one big erogenous zone and do not focus only on the penis and nipples.

If you are not sure, ask him and watch his reaction. Pleasure is expressed with heavier breathing and arousal, and if you should really miss the mark, he will definitely let you know. Overthinking how to pleasure him is nothing else than a common sexual fear, which keeps you from enjoying yourself as well.

Fear 4: Why does sex sometimes hurt?

There can be psychical reasons, like the fear before the first sex or the first anal sex, because then we're not relaxed yet and we even expect pain. Also the bleeding during first intercourse can be unpleasant and even painful, but that must not make us dislike intimacy.

In case of pain, which often happens in the middle of the menstrual cycle, stop intercourse for a while and then proceed more gently. The reason for pain can also be too rough sex. Sometimes it can even be due to a health concern: cists or inflammation.

Fear 5: Fear of (not) getting pregnant

This is a sexual fear, which does not pass with age and therefore does not concern only young women. Still, supposedly middle-aged women are the most relaxed during sex, because they are more experienced and know, that the chance of getting pregnant is low. Even though the pull-out method is the most natural, since it does not include either condoms or hormone therapy, it is also the most risky.

The exact opposite fear is when a woman cannot wait to get pregnant and plans for it. Even if you are planning to have a baby, do not obsess over stopping sex to the second and taking basal temperature measurements, because too much pressure just turns sex into a routine activity. During lovemaking you should focus on your partner and not expect too much, because fear is always detrimental to pleasure.

More on female sexual problems and fears in our unique Lover's Guide