Is an Orgasm Really the Only Way to Measure Good Sex?
There’s much talk about the female orgasm, so that people start panicking if there isn’t one. But can’t sex be great without the big O?
A happy relationship is by no means dependant on an orgasm, but it can happen that the absence of the orgasm can add fuel to the fire. (jlp)
It’s probably happened that you enjoyed sex without having an orgasm. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. An orgasm can’t be the only way to measure the pleasure a woman feels during sexuality.
A happy relationship without an orgasm
There are many marriages where women never have an orgasm, but the relationships are still happy. This confirms the theory of several types of love because it’s hard to imagine passionate love happening without a regular ‘income’. More ‘complex’ feelings can soon make the orgasm of secondary importance. This type of woman will be satisfied by providing pleasure to the husband, but also with bringing stability and emotional security into the relationship. You might find this concept of living together as a couple outdated, but these are parts of our everyday life.
Permanent absence can put a dent in the relationship
Many people talk about how a permanent problem with reaching an orgasm can put a serious dent into a relationship. The woman is disappointed because she didn’t do something she feels she should be able to. That’s how disappointment can turn into a feeling of inadequacy or inferiority, which is reflected in the whole relationship to the man. She makes him feel inferior, which causes conflicts and disagreements between partners.
How did some women describe an orgasm?
An orgasm is naturally not the only measure of success, but if it’s absent, it can soon become just that. Let’s see what women from a survey had to say about it:-
“The orgasm is a wonderful thing! It’s like mixing permanent pleasure with the ecstasy of love, energy and emotion!”
An orgasm means the same to most women as climbing a mountain does to a mountain climber. It’s not necessary for survival, but it’s that much more important to make you feel better. (jlp)
- “An orgasm renews all my senses – the awakening of life, spring, sunshine, enthusiasm. I get rid of all the boredom of everyday life.”
- “It makes me immensely happy. The whole road to an orgasm is divine. An orgasm purifies me of desires and anger for 48 hours. If I start getting bored during an orgasm, I’ll be ready to commit suicide.
- “Wonderful joy that I can’t compare to anything else.”
- “The climax. It’s the most fantastic feeling I’ve ever had.”
- “It’s like an earthquake going through your whole body: the ovaries, uterus, breasts and brain join into one single singing dark sea, which pulsates in the sweetest sensations.”
The consequences of sexual revolution
It seems as if the pressures of the sexual revolution also had some negative consequences. There are quite a few women who feel unsuccessful if they don’t have an orgasm every time or at least don’t try to achieve complete gratification. That’s why statements like these aren’t surprising:
- “Of course I have to have an orgasm, or I don’t feel like a real person...”
- “I would often like sex without an orgasm just fine if I didn’t feel people care so very much about it and if I had the feeling I could do what I wanted…”
- “I’m afraid my partner would see me as weird and less attractive if I didn’t have an orgasm.”
A beautiful body can even be despised if it’s not capable of producing a decent orgasm. (jlp)
- “I wish the orgasm didn’t even exist, then sexuality might be quite fun.”
- “I don’t think the orgasm is that important; but the media have placed this burden on women. I’m ashamed to admit that this myth also had the same effect on me. I now ‘like’ it when I have an orgasm because it makes me a real woman!”
We have brought sexuality so far that everyone knows so much that they’re riddled with doubt, which either effects the relationship to sexuality in a stimulating way or it brings uncertainty, which is reflected in practice. The game continues…
