How to Reveal Your Homosexual Orientation?

It’s tough to come out as a gay or a lesbian. Here’s some advice on how you could make things easier for yourself.

It’s relatively new that people who are attracted to people of the same sex reveal their homosexual orientation during their adolescence or even earlier. That’s why it’s very possible that many individuals, who grew up in a time when their true homosexual orientation was regarded as unacceptable, deviant, and even criminal, still haven't revealed it to this day. Although revealing your homosexual orientation is a completely personal decision, it’s usually a big relief in most cases and turns out to be positive in the long run. Hiding such an important part of yourself can be very stressful and frustrating, and it can also heavily influence all spheres of your life. And although you risk losing the support of some of your relatives, your friends, and your co-workers by revealing your homosexual orientation, you’ll still find that most of them will accept you as you really are in due time. People namely respect and admire courage necessary to take such a big step.

What are the pros and cons of revealing your homosexual orientation?

A huge pro when revealing your homosexual orientation during your adult years is that the people who are close to regard you as a mature and responsible person. This means that there’s a very good chance they won’t pester you with questions such as “Are you really sure that you’re a lesbian?” or “Could it be that you haven't found the right women yet?" or even “Are you sure that that's not just a phase you're going through?" This is undoubtedly a positive thing since you most definitely don’t want to be persuaded into changing your mind after you’ve just come out of the closet. On the other hand, revealing your homosexual orientation during adulthood can also lead to some problems, which you could have avoided while being a teenager. Maybe you’re married, have kids, or have manages to keep a “straight” appearance in some other way. People have become used to you being straight and your homosexual orientation could trigger some extreme surprise and strong reactions on their part. Your revelation could redefine and stir the relations and relationships as you knew them and experienced them till now. But it’s also very probable that you’ll get a totally different reaction. Statements such as “I thought you were!” or something similar could come your way as well since people may have had a hunch even before you came out.

A couple more tips

Obviously you can’t be sure how people will react to you revealing your homosexual orientation. It's not the best thing to just shock them with the news during a family reunion, a funeral, or when you’re just feeling angry and depressed. It’s best to do it when your spirits are up, when you’re feeling confident, and when you’re not stressed out because of personal problems. Here’s what you can do to make your big news less stressful for everyone involved:

• start by telling the people who are in your vicinity at that time what you think about different kinds of discrimination. If you're engaged in a conversation about homosexuality, state your point very clearly;
• if you're involved in a homosexual relationship, start talking about your partner in the sense of how deeply you love them, how highly you admire them, and how much they mean  to you;
• also think about the possibility of your closest friends and family getting to know your partner personally too. This will make it easier for your closest friends and family to link your revelation about your homosexual orientation to an actual person, whom they've already met and gotten to know as an important part of your life;
• if you've kept a “straight” appearance by dating people of the other sex or by not denying an intimate relationship with a particular person of the other sex till now, stop doing that immediately.

As we already mentioned, revealing your homosexual orientation is an utterly personal decision and entirely up to you. If you decide to take that step, it’s very possible that some of the people closest to you will react in a negative way.  But the fact remains that the truth’s liberating and it leads to positive things in the long run as well.