"Hands off my pregnant belly!"

Does everybody think they can touch your pregnant belly all over the place? Check out these witty tips for keeping tiresome and tactless people away from your sensitive pregnant belly!

In younger teenage years your peers might have been touching you, a couple of years later some drunkards from the local disco attempted to grab you, and everybody was perfectly aware of the fact that they’re doing something inappropriate. When your pregnant belly popped out, touching suddenly became appropriate and it appeared as everyone were allowed to do it, even the granny next door. 

Pregnant belly - A gift for everybody or your personal space?

Extrovert women who like attention and don’t mind their round pregnant bellies being touched and patted; they enjoy sharing the delight of pregnancy with the whole world and let the hands of known and unknown people stroke their pregnant bellies. These women share the opinion that the child they’re expecting is a gift not only to their families but to the world as well. However, there are women who hate to be touched by strangers and are choosy even when it comes to acquaintances and friends. If you belong to the latter group and don’t know how to get rid of people with long fingers and want-to-touch-you hands you may find the following tips useful.  

A polite strategy for a pregnant belly

This is probably the most usual strategy that can be used in any situation. When you spot a potential toucher approaching you, simply go away and avoid them. Although a huge pregnant belly and a narrow room are not too felicitous a situation and you may fail to escape. In any case, you can politely hint at your dislike by using body language – your sharp look plus your hands holding and protecting your pregnant belly should suffice in most cases. If you’re  dealing  with people who can’t understand body language, be more explicit and tell them firmly (but still politely): “I don’t like people touching me.” In extreme cases, when dealing with tactless and insensitive people, this may not work, so try giving your partner as an excuse: “My partner hates it if his wife is being touched by strangers.” If he is around, his threatening look or harsh words will help, but don’t overrely on him, he might not be always by your side. 

A militant strategy for a pregnant belly

If you are not the fighting type (but still hate people touching your pregnant belly) you may try a militant slogan on your T-shirt: “Hands off!” communicates a very clear message. When the T-shirt is in the laundry, signal the stop sign by putting your hands in front of your pregnant belly. If you are too late to stop the toucher or if she/he ignores your body language, feel free to tap his/her fingers or squeeze his/her hand firmly and move it away from you. When you feel like it, try a snarl, a cold look or a sharp ticking off: “Just leave me alone, will you!?” 

A witty strategy for a pregnant belly

Sometimes humor is a smooth and harmless way out of a quandary. Bear this in mind when dealing with people who by all means have to touch your pregnant belly. “My baby feels so stressed when touched by strangers,” is a good excuse that will most probably persuade anyone. Give them a bit of a shock by touching them back, preferably in the same place. By doing this, you will let them know how it feels when your personal space is being invaded which will save them (and you) from further touches. Bellies are much more intimate than shoulders which people are used to pat each other on, but not everyone is aware of that. Charge them $10 when touched, it will make them think about it (hopefully). You might also scream at the top of your voice and then politely explain: “Oh, I’m sorry, you scared me.”   

If you just can’t manage to give off that hands-off vibe, don’t feel frustrated: the pregnancy will end sooner or later … But prepare to fight further against touching and patting and pinching your little new-comer …

More advice on pregnancy in our Encyclopedia of Sexuality!

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