Don’t be a prostitute in your own bed!

26.06.2012 | By: T. B.

How far are we prepared to go in bed in the name of love and a successful relationship?

You can make bargains in the bedroom, but not in connection with love. (PhotoXpress)

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Oral sex as a service

The most unusual agreements are reached in the bedroom. The most frequent, controversial topics are oral sex, anal, threesomes, swingers and a number of other more unusual fetishes. One’s attitude to oral (as well as anal) sex has become a paradox, if not a rather strange thing. Owing to the fear of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and the desire to keep one’s virginity, on the one hand, oral sex has become a completely everyday alternative to the “real sex” – for those who don’t want to abstain from sex. On the other hand, oral sex is dirty. A lot of women dislike inserting the penis into their mouth and the same applies to men and vaginas. And thus, different agreements have been reached. Sometime they are silent agreements. Sometimes she performs something on him because she feels obliged and sometimes he performs something in return because she provided such a good service. She goes down on her knees to show him her love and satisfy him because she knows he likes that. Why? Oral sex isn’t something everyone would perform. Oral sex isn’t “A” in the alphabet of sex. Oral sex is just one of the ways to satisfy your partner. A mutual desire is a pre-condition for real pleasure. The bed isn’t a market square where you can make bargains.

Threesomes, swingers, orgies and fetishes as a service

Threesomes, swingers and orgies are even better indicators showing how far we’re prepared to go to oblige someone. Of course, this doesn’t mean that participants are forced to do it or that it’s against their will, but it often happens that some people do it for the wrong reasons. Adapting the love for oneself because of the love for another person doesn’t lead to the desired ecstasy and definitely not to a greater love and bond between the partners. If all the persons are present because of their own desire to explore, they can have the best experience, just as sex in the missionary position in the bedroom can be the greatest disappointment if you don’t desire it.

Why is providing a service the wrong motive? And why a service isn’t an agreement?

Have you ever loved anyone so much to provide a service to him? Why would sex be any different? Sex as a service is a special activity that in fact has very little connection with love. In most cases, the activity is performed for money and some people believe it can also offer love. However, as money can’t buy more than sex (never love), it’s impossible to expect to gain love if you satisfy your partner’s desire. Well, we don’t want to sound like prophets. Allow yourself to love and be loved. What about the love for yourself? Will this love be greater if you satisfy your partner’s desires? In sex life, you have to be capable of surrendering completely. In a relationship and sex life as well, services don’t mean that an agreement is reached. An agreement doesn’t mean that someone does something and then another person does something in return. An agreement means that the partners find a mutual solution to explore the delights of sex. It’s not your obligation to act on all the partner’s fetishes.

If you surrender freely to all the possibilities offered by sex (and not just persist in the missionary position), it gives you the feeling that you’re more open and sensitive in sex life. But you may subconsciously assume the negative attitude to all other things because you do them for the wrong reasons. People are different, have different views on sex and different desires. Try to find a mutual solution that suits both of you and thus avoid that one of the partners acts a as prostitute.