What Can You Do As a Woman to Prevent Being Raped?

If a woman says no, a man may still take that as yes. Intercourse can sometimes not be avoided, but this isn't much of an intercourse. We call it rape. Read how to prevent being raped.

Some time ago, we wrote about the problems with hitchhiking for women and the danger of being raped. But rape happens everywhere (literally), sometimes right before our eyes and we just don't see it.

The definition of rape is problematic in its own right. Sometimes the victim doesn't know if she had been raped or not. A drunk husband in the middle of the night, a flirting boss at work, a drunken party with blackouts and many more situations where the woman doesn't recognize rape, doesn't remember it or accepts it as part of the “normal” relations. These are problems that become more evident once rape is reported to the police and we find ourselves taking part in a tedious legal procedure. Let's first try to prevent rape from ever happening to us. Let's say you suddenly find yourself in a tense situation that scares you, a situation for which you feel that it may not end well.

Body posture

Your body posture is important. We say a lot more with our bodies than we think. We know two basic positions of the body: the master and the servant. The master has a straight back, relaxed and straight shoulders, s/he looks forward, has an open chest, the body weight is distributed equally on both legs, and the hands are relaxed beside the body. There are several positions for the servant. S/he may embrace the elbows with the hands, the weight is on one leg, the shoulders are moved upward and are bent to one side, the face is looking slightly down. With this posture we are exhibiting disharmony.

The embracing arms show a defensive position, the tilted face and the upward shoulders mostly show indecisiveness. This position is also used by many people as a means of seduction. The other servant position is very similar to the first, except that the hands are put together in front of the sexual organs. This position also cries out for being dominated.

The voice and facial expressions

Your voice speaks louder than words! We feel fear, insecurity, joy or sadness in a voice. If we say NO, we have to mean NO and believe in it. People who do martial arts know that the body and the mind must be connected into a whole. Face the “assailant” with your body, pick a spot (his face) and say NO in a clear, focused and determined voice. Don't say it to yourself but to him - you must stop the whole world with your voice. You can practice this at home or with your friends. If you do it the right way, your friend should flinch and get a little scared when you say NO. Take all your anger, strength and energy and put them in your voice. Adjust your facial expression to your message. Don't say "no" with a smile. If you're quiet, keep your lips shut normally. A mouth that is slightly open looks desirable and only enhances lust. Also, don't avert your eyes.

We have only described a few small details which may save you from an awkward situation. This advice is especially useful in case of the so-called “friendly rape”, where the goal of the assailant is most of all intercourse and for some reason he thinks the woman wants it as well. We shall discuss other rapist profiles and techniques of defending oneself some other time.