Take Dating Into Your Own Hands

Don't be the one who doesn't get to a second date with someone because of making a bad first impression.

We all want to develop a deeper relationship with a person we like. But many people forget to listen to the other person. They put themselves in the centre of attention without being aware of what they're doing. This can be a big step backwards in the bonding process. When you do this, most people will get the impression the conversation they had with you wasn't interesting.

To avoid poor communication, make use of the following tips:


1.The conversation should concern both of you, not only you and your life

If someone shares their experience of making a trip to the Caribbean with you in a conversation, the most common and also the worst thing to do is to start talking about your own Caribbean adventure. Instead of talking about yourself and what you went through, try to imagine what the other person experienced and try to get into their story. Ask them questions that will show you're interested in their unforgettable vacation. Don't interrupt them by telling about your interesting exploits because the first step in bonding and establishing successful communication is knowing how to listen and also to comment in the most appropriate moment.


2. Use what you hear

During a conversation, you can come across many pieces of information about the other person, about their feelings and their life. This is a perfect opportunity for bonding. It often happens that we don't listen carefully enough and thus don't hear the most important piece of information, which only makes us talk about ourselves again. Make sure you process every bit of information that comes your way. You can skilfully link it to your experiences and opinions.


3. Pay attention

Women in particular are preoccupied with their looks and with the fact that these often don't get complimented upon. A small comment on a woman's outfit (for example, how well her shoes and her purse match) will astonish her. She will feel grateful that you showed her that her effort didn't go unnoticed.


4. Be compassionate

When your date talks about their interests, hobbies or their views on certain matters, there are three ways you can react. The first option is to simply agree with what they say, by saying “me too”. You'll be informing the other person that you have the same interests. The second option is not to agree with what was said. You have to explain why you don't agree. The third option is to show that you understand the other person’s feelings, interests and views, even though you may not agree with them. This is the most effective response. If a man, for example, loves football, show him you understand why he loves watching it so much because you like doing something else just as much.


5. Talk about things that bring up strong emotions

Find something your date feels strongly about – this could be sexuality, family values, animal rights, sports ... Try connecting with them by showing you understand their emotional involvement in those matters. Avoid phrases like “me too.” Just allow them to finish their stories.


By using these tips, your casual conversation will turn into several hours of talking. You'll find out many useful things which will come in handy once you totally enchant your date.