Do You Want to Have More Action in Bed?

Does your partner not want to do it as often as you? We have put together some possible reasons and suggestions on what to do.

Are your expectations realistic?

If you just started a new relationship and your sensations and exploration of your sexual pleasures are totally fresh, it is not unusual if you realize that you are having intercourse less frequently than you are used to. Some people need a bit more time to adjust to a new partner, which is actually not a bad thing. By slowly getting to know one another’s bodies, you are also becoming more relaxed. Besides, an “ideal” sexual life is not measured by the frequency of intercourse, but by the quality of it.

Avoid a negative attitude

Do not instantly start thinking that the reason for your partners’ lack of sexual desire is in their wish to leave you or that you are not attractive enough to them any more. If their attitude towards you has not changed in any other way, the reason for their lack of sexual desire can be something else. Besides, who says we have to fill out some kind of sexual quota each week and that otherwise something is wrong with the relationship? We are all different, so it is not wrong if you are extremely horny for a month and less so some other time. Sometimes the problem lies with the person who is too horny.

Is your partner feeling well?

Instead of getting upset at not getting enough action, show a bit of compassion and show that you are worried about your partner. Is she/he tired, depressed, stressed out because of work, on some kind of medication? All of this can affect the sexual mood, so it is very important to be supportive. By pressuring and forcing your partner into intercourse, you will only make the situation worse because she/he will feel pressure to do it to please you and they will want to have intercourse even less. Stress can be a really big factor in the lack of desire for intercourse and all the individual usually wants is enough sleep, piece and comforting thoughts.

How to handle the lack of action in bed?

Talk to your partner, but in no way pressure them. The discussion should be gentle and relaxed, without any threats and reproaching. Only in this way will you be able to find out why these changes occurred. If you do this together and if you are patient, you can overcome the lack of your partner’s desire. If you feel you are not doing it often enough, you can still masturbate. And why not!? It is perfectly natural, legal and good for you.

If you think that your partners are working too hard, suggest that they take a week off just for you two – you can go away or focus on one another at home. Do not force intercourse on them, but, without any pressure, do things you have liked doing from the beginning of the relationship. Get close again! And once you are close again, they will want the sexual aspect in your life as well. Instead of forcing your partners into having intercourse, it is better to be helpful and try to find the cause together. Also remember that your partners most likely do not know themselves where the sexual urge has disappeared and they are probably just as or even more worried than you.

Read more about the loss of sexual desire in the Encyclopedia of Sexuality.

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