HELP: Why Am I Not Sexually Attracted to My Partner Anymore?

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21.06.2012 | By: S. B.

Has your partner ever suddenly seemed sexually completely unattractive? Think about the possible reasons.

Hint to your partner that letting himself go kills your sexual desire. (PhotoXpress)

Even though you are attracted to someone else, that is not necessarily a reason to end the relationship. (PhotoXpress)

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Unattractive looks

If your partner used to be sexy and youthful, and has now gotten fat, this can definitely turn you off. Love definitely is more than just looks and you probably still love your partner, but neglected looks can kill desire. Maybe it's about the weight, lack of personal hygiene or simply the fact that your beloved never dresses sexy anymore. It is understandable that he does not excite you as much as he used to after a couple of years, but you can save your desire. Maybe your partner does not even notice that they let themselves go, because you make them feel relaxed and loved. On one hand that can be a sign that they are secure and happy in the relationship, on the other, it can mean it has become routine.

Have an honest discussion with your partner. Ask them, where all the nice clothes went and express excitement on days, when they dress well again. Also, do not just throw the word "fat" at them, but rather hint that it might be a good and fun idea to start doing sports together and watch what you eat. Do not be insulting, since a positive approach is always better than accusations. Let your partner know that they will be even more attractive to you once the problems are gone watch their reaction. If they are not even trying, perhaps they are not really interested in you anymore as well.

You like someone else

Are you guilty of your own lack of sexual attraction for your partner? Have you fallen for another and dream about them? First, you have to clear up what this actually means and how much you are prepared to do to keep your relationship. Has it become monotonous, but could it be spiced up with a few novelties? Or are all feelings for your partner gone? What does the new flirt have that your partner does not? Are they tidier, do they have a better sense of humor, can you talk to them more openly? Think, because falling for someone else can indirectly even save your relationship.

Consider if it is worth taking a risk and cheat on your partner or even leave him, just because you are going through some tough times together. If you see each other only rarely and you feel that there is no chemistry anymore, think, if there is a way to get it back. Still, do not obsess over innocent flirting. It can restore your self-confidence, but only, if your heart still belongs to your partner. If, however, your thoughts are far away already, be honest. In this case, it is not your partner's fault, that your sexual attraction for him is gone, so be honest and admit to him, that your relationship is over.

Unrealistic ideas about a sexually attractive body

Are you one of the victims of the media and pornographic industry? Magazines, movies, and pornography feature people, who are less and less natural and more and more surgically "improved". Pornography subconsciously gives us a twisted mindset of what a sexually attractive body is. Big breasts, bleached hair and an insatiable sexual appetite. All this is not realistic. People differ from one another and our bodies can be sexually attractive even though they are not perfect (which would take a lot of work), or even just average.

If you compare your partner to fictional characters (men and women on billboards are mostly a product of retouching as well), you are not being fair. A picture can be perfect, but a body is living organic matter, which should attract you with your loved one's smell alone. Think, if your lack of sexual attraction even has a real basis or if you are simply being too perfectionist.