Are You Addicted to Relationships?

Individuals, who are addicted to relationships, are basically looking for love with demonic means.

In this article, we talk about how being addicted to relationships affects all other spheres of your daily life, how your life could turn out with a relationship addict as a partner, and how people, who are addicted to relationships can benefit by therapy.

Being Addicted to Relationships Can Be a Cause of Strain, even if you’re Single

Being addicted to relationships can put a strain on your life even if you're currently not involved with anyone. The relationships with your friends and family can suffer as well, since relationship addicts tend to project their anxieties onto people that are closest to them. Their main trait is to manipulate with others. They get hung up on permanently controlling other’s lives and perceiving themselves as almighty masters of any situation. They never cease to demand to be made happy by others. They hide their true face and their true feelings all the time. Being addicted to relationships forces you to never show your true emotions. The main reason for being addicted to relationships stems from a lack of affection during childhood. This leads relationships addicts to form a defense mechanism that renders them incapable of openly confessing their true desire and their need for being loved. Being addicted to relationships even renders one incapable of giving love, since such people regard that as a weakness or as something you should be ashamed of. They’re often convinced that the people they're surrounded with are only out to exploit them. On the other hand, relationships addicts also fear to be neglected, overlooked, or even forsaken. When things don’t turn out the way they had expected or had wished for, their fears seem justified. An individual, who is in tune with his or her feelings, will be able to experience grief without being consumed by it entirely. Being addicted to relationships can force someone into feeling alienated from their family, or to sense alienation in general, while projecting the image of a strong and steady individual to the rest of the world.

Being Addicted to Relationships is a Two-Way Street

Relationship addicts aren’t capable of forming healthy partnerships at all. They tend to run from intimacy and can only manage to create a relationship of unhealthy co-dependency where either they or their partner is completely dependant. This can’t be understood as experiencing all-consuming love. They are hung up on somebody while putting all the burden of securing their own happiness and satisfaction on the other’s shoulders. An individual, who is addicted to relationships, tends to project his or her flaws entirely on the partner, while expecting from the partner to save the relationship addict from their own self-accusations and the sense of being an utter failure. Individuals who can’t fulfill this demand, will soon experience the desire to leave, while others, who show persistence, may be in possession of the same behavioral patterns complementary to the ones of a relationship addict. So they are actually enablers who don’t benefit the addict’s individual growth at all. Being addicted to relationships can cause you to destroy a relationship with an otherwise loving partner without even being aware of the fact. A relationship addict may thrive in a relationship, but only if he/she conceals their lack of self-confidence. The relationships they are involved in and that may last for longer periods of time, but aren't healthy since the partner subconsciously acts as a beneficial receptor of addictive patterns, which can eventually enslave them too. Such partners are prepared to endure a lot, even to sacrifice themselves for the good of the relationship, just in order to feel whole. Many of them end up being consumed in abusive relationships out of which there is no escape. The reason that they can’t escape is that they believe they will change their partners as in compensation for the fact that they weren't able to change their own families.

I’ll Give You Sex, and You’ll Love Me in Return

As we had already mentioned, being addicted to relationships forces you to feel the need to control every single aspect of your partner’s life. Through taking unlimited control, you can experience power and feel important. This is also the reason why relationship addicts want to be in a relationship all the time in the first place. Sex is their most frequent means of exercising control over their partners. This basically means that they are controlling a relationship through offering sex in return for being loved, while they’re incapable of feeling or giving love themselves. At least not in the way in which they demand to be loved themselves. Often being addicted to relationships renders one incapable of distinguishing between sex and love. Furthermore, relationship addicts are incapable of the kind of intimacy that would ground on sincerity and devotion.

How Can You Get Help?

Being addicted to relationships is something that you have to come to terms with before going through therapy. Treating relationship addicts is one of the most strenuous procedures since they have to be cured from a dependency on love, an emotion, which is really positive in normal doses. It is necessary for human beings to feel love. They mustn’t abstain from it but have to learn to handle it in a harmless way. This constitutes a long-term process, which has to be preceded by a relationship addict owning up to his or her problem. A relationship addict can’t get better without professional help. You also can’t get help from a partner, who displays the same behavioral patterns as you. It’s also advisable for both partners to get involved in the problem-solving process; otherwise maintaining a relationship would not be sensible anymore. It’s also good that both partners keep pace with each other – if one of the partners advances faster than the other, the other may not be able to follow, especially if he or she isn’t aware of any problem. This could eventually also lead to something good, should the partners decide to break up. Sometimes, it makes more sense to be treated for being addicted to relationships on your own, without burdening someone else or being burdened by someone else.