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Written on: 1. Apr 2010 10:38
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KylieS.
Topic creator
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 2
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Hola, everyone,
I wouldn't like to speak about the rights of women ... what I'm interested in is how important it is for you, women, that the man acts in the dominant role and that you are a bit subjugated (only in bed, of course)... I don't mean dominatrices... I mean sex that would look almost like violence to an outside observer ... men, do you prefer to be dominant, or do you like dominant partners?? and girls, do you like your partners to be a bit dominant?
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Written on: 4. Apr 2010 11:38
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Jenna
registered since: 16.03.2010
Posts: 11
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Hey,
I prefer passion to gentleness, if that's what you mean I like a man to GRAB me and push me against the wall with all his strength  I don't want to be hit or anything like that, I detest violence in general, but it's true - a bit of dominance on his side does spice things up!
The more they show they want me, in an aggressive way, the more I want them! they must show me how irresistible I am to them at that moment ...
And I hate it when men don't give a sound during sex, when they're just silent!
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Written on: 8. Apr 2010 18:04
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sybil
registered since: 08.04.2010
Posts: 2
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A great topic!
I love to be dominated in bed, too. There's nothing more thrilling than a faked rape, but only if I know that my lover is actually very loving and that I can trust him. It's called role-playing.
[This article was edited 1 times, at last 08.04.2010 at 18:05.]
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Written on: 22. Apr 2010 18:49
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William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
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My girlfriend and I are very into S&M. I (William) am the dominant. She loves to be pseudo-raped, whipped, and loves nipple and pussy clamps, for example.
What turns her on at least as much though is that I completely respect her both in the bedroom and outside in business. We worked together for years and she knows, without a doubt, that I love her professional brilliance and emotional strength. She can be very vulnerable but I never take advantage of that.
Instead, we play with sex as far as we can take it. She can completely submit herself to my desires because she knows that pleasuring her is as important to me as satiating my own carnal needs. But releasing my instincts to subjugate her, use her, even physically abuse her is incredible fulfilling for me ... and for her.
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Written on: 24. Apr 2010 20:51
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lakeshoreturtle
registered since: 24.04.2010
Posts: 1
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I just shared this with my husband. I too want him to be dominate but I want it to start outside of the bedroom. I want him to whisper in my ear something like, "tonight you are going to pleasure me in bed." or " i am going to have sex tonight, no questions asked" in bed I would like him " to push me to his dick and say lick it." Not at all gross or demanding but very firm. How many get that and what is it like?
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Written on: 10. May 2010 13:01
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andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
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I don't understand how any woman could possibly want to be subordinate in bed as well. Like we are not being oppressed enough as it is...
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Written on: 10. May 2010 17:07
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William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
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Andrea,
Men can also be subordinate. Since I'm a dom male, I'm not into that but it's not rare.
Sometimes people just need to be subordinate to others either as a total part of their life or as one aspect (often sexual). Very successful business women, for example, sometimes crave being used very roughly by a male.
You do not want that. Ok. Perhaps you will find a completely equal partner or at least one that averages out to be about equal. Or perhaps you will be the dominant one.
But sexually, many women find it incredibly fun to be "used" roughly. The combination of pain and pleasure can be very intoxicating. I don't believe that many or even any woman actually want to be raped. But many want to be "taken." Interestingly, it is almost a form of control by women of men. The idea is that she is soooo attractive that the man risks everything by losing control in his lust for her.
Anyway, at least for me, it has nothing to do with historical repression of women. I believe to the core of my being that women are politically the equal of men. Women are often better than me: good women athletes are better at their sports than me. Good women executives are better at business than me.
But some dom women like to punish men for the sins of their fathers. Perhaps you would be into that?
Those things have little or nothing to do with if I like to express my natural sadism with a woman. Bring a woman to multiple orgasms via sexual torture is incredibly releasing. I respect her and would never go one hair beyond what thrills her.
Her desire to be my sex slave has no impact on her ability to make her own decisions in life, to love as she sees fit. I'm her partner in fulfilling her fantasies (love, sexual, etc). We just have roles we've chosen to enjoy.
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Written on: 11. May 2010 09:55
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lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63
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William, you made this sound very intriguing. I admit to some fantasies about a man simply taking me and having his way with me, but I'm not sure I'd go through with this in real life.
Could you describe the "technicalities" a bit more? Do you have a safe word in case you overdo it, or do you not go so far? How to you even initiate something like that? I can't imagine just walking up to my man and saying "tie me up and take me". Actually the whole point (or most of it) would be lost if I had to initiate it since the fantasy is that he just does it "whether I like it or not".
I could really use some more advice on how to approach this :/
And probably the relationship should be longer than just a couple of weeks or months. I don't think I'd feel safe with someone I don't know really well.
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Written on: 11. May 2010 14:34
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andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
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Maybe I'll try and surprise my BF with some rope-play the next time he's not that interested. Maybe that'll spur his testosterone into action.
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Written on: 11. May 2010 15:32
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William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
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lollypop:
The sky's the limit. But both of you have to be into it. If you want to be the bottom, then he has to really want to be the top (dom). If he is naturally passive or a martyr/servant personality, then you might have to look elsewhere.
If you are with a man whom you not sure you can trust or if your fear is overwhelming, then start with baby steps. Have him handcuffs you arms together and then to the bed. Then he can take you many ways but you also have a measure of control.
Or try something really intense for you but easy for him: fisting (getting as much of his hand into you as he can, don't worry women are very elastic and you be "snap" back very quickly) or anal or gagging. Gagging might be a good start because you have an immense amount of control. If he is "not small" then try to swallow all of his cock. Have him take you by your hair and pump your mouth. If these easy/beginner dom ideas don't excite him, then you are likely to have to find another man to fulfill those desires.
Yes, safe words are very important. Find one that is not like any word you ever use. Another really fun way to be "taken" is to beg him to stop, scream "no" over and over, struggle a bit against him. But, if he gets carried away, then you have to have a way to stop him.
There are two types of safe words. With one, he must stop everything NOW. For example, if you've not learned to love anal, then it is easy for a guy to go too hard/far too fast. The other type is a way to get what you need. Begging is a good way to do that. And each time you beg for something, you should "pay" for that request by doing something for him.
What he must do is alternate pain and pleasure. You must walk away feeling fulfilled, loved, even worshiped. For example, in rape fantasies, the whole concept is that he craves you uncontrolably. Yes, he may also want to hurt you sexually but it is because he wants you. Ideally, he'd take you until you came. Though sometimes, BDSM is impersonal, the best is incredibly intense and ends loving.
There are soooo many different ways to enjoy your bodies. Find one or two that really turn you on. Most important is that he finds a fantasy that really turns him on and you serve that craving. You will both find that very enthralling.
If you'd like examples of a man abusing a woman sexually while simultaneously worshiping her body, let me know. I'm not sure how much this site allows.
Women spend so much of their lives "settling" for whatever others want and don't at least occasionally dive into their own fantasies. There is no wrong between consenting adults. Just let go.
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