What’s on a young mum’s mind during sex?

Here’s a fascinating and funny story about a mom with a small child and what she thinks about while having sex with her husband.

“Lately my thoughts have been anything but dirty before having sex – unless I count the thoughts of dirty laundry waiting for me in the bathroom. For some unexplained reason, my husband comes up with the brilliant idea that we could have sex at the end of a long and tiring day. My usual day looks something like this: I go to work, pick up the baby from the day-care center, cook him lunch and dinner, give him a bath, read him a bedtime story and wash the dishes. When I finally drag myself to bed, I’m completely worn out and feel like a zombie – somewhere between coma and death. Then, and only then, my husband throws me a seductive glance. Here’s what’s on my mind at that time:” 

The stage of sexual intercourse: He rolls over to her side of the bed.

“Oh, dear God! Maybe he’ll still change his mind...”

The stage of sexual intercourse: Foreplay 

“Guess not. Should I say I’m too tired? No, I did that last time. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Tomorrow we have to pay our mortgage installment.

I hate this yellow ceiling in our bedroom. Maybe it would be better if it were slightly more brown…”

The stage of sexual intercourse: Penetration

“Will I have enough time in the morning to take a shower?

I should buy a new toy for the baby – I’ll never find that missing piece.
 
I’ve just washed the sheets. I’m not sure if we have any clean ones. Maybe in the dryer…

If I don’t dry my hair in the morning, I might just have enough time to take a shower.

I like cheese.”

The stage of sexual intercourse: He’s close to reaching an orgasm.

“Can the baby hear us?

I hope he doesn’t wake up and start crying because he’s hungry… wait a minute…do we have enough milk for tomorrow morning?

Crap, I forgot to buy it on my way home. I always forget things – tomorrow I definitely have to buy some clothes for the baby! He’s outgrown almost all his trousers. Maybe it’s already time to start buying him clothes for children aged 18-24 months. I never know what fits him. Tomorrow I’ll go through all his clothes and pick out those he’s outgrown. You just can’t trust sizes. Different brands have different sizes… well, I’ll manage somehow…


Oops, I’d better gasp and moan a little bit, otherwise he’ll think I’m not enjoying it.”

The stage of sexual intercourse: The grand finale

“Now he’s going to ask me if I liked it, as usual.

I love him, so I’ll tell him it was incredible, as always.

To be totally honest, the best thing is that I can finally go to sleep.

Good night.”