Funny Sex Stories: They Got Stuck!

25.05.2012 | By: JP

You can read this and other funny sex stories that nurses had to witness.

Behind every great man there’s a great woman and behind every great doctor there’s a great nurse. (PhotoXpress)

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His penis got stuck

“Actually, this happens quite often,” a nurse explains. “One night, paramedics brought a stark naked man who still had a woman in black lingerie sitting on top of him. They told us that they had used a lot of drugs and had wild sex. So, the woman experienced a vaginal cramp and squeezed his penis so tight that he was unable to pull it out. The duty doctor gave them a drug to relax their muscles and after a few minutes they could finally let go of their love hug.”

An unexpected gift

Another anecdote among funniest sex stories goes like this: “On a stormy afternoon, paramedics informed me that they had a young woman with severe vaginal cramps. As the duty nurse, it was my responsibility to check her medical records and make a quick examination. She was in pain, but still looked completely healthy. She said to me that she always had regular periods, which angered her because she and her husband had been trying to have a baby for a while. She assured me that her gynecologist would surely know how to help her and prescribe her something for her pains. But when the gynecologist examined her, he found that not only she was pregnant, but she would give birth any time! So, we rushed to the maternity hospital, where she gave birth to a healthy baby girl."

Having sex until you drop dead

This nurse will never forget a young man and woman who were brought in, unconscious, by an ambulance: “While his grandma was away, they decided to try out the sofa in the basement. They borrowed something that resembled a lubricant from his grandma’s well-stocked medicine cabinet. It turned out that the medicine was based on nitroglycerine and used for reducing blood pressure, and if used in excessive amounts, it could be fatal. When grandma returned home, she found them one on top of the other, unconscious and stark naked. In the hospital, they were immediately put on oxygen and infusion to regain consciousness, so they wouldn’t suffer from any serious consequences.”

Hide and seek

One of the nurses on duty that day explains: “One night a young man came to the emergency. When the doctor asked him to explain his problem, the man reached into his bag and pulled out a catalogue with erotic accessories and pointed to a long and curved toy.” “This is what’s got stuck inside,” the man said and winked at the doctor. “But it’s up to you to get it out.” “The doctor, of course, managed to remove the toy, but before the procedure he had to leave the office because he couldn’t stop laughing,” she adds.

A friend from high school

“I was asked to examine a woman who had severe abdominal pain. It turned out that the patient was my former friend from high school, but instead of being glad to see me, she was horrified. She admitted that she didn’t have any stomach pain. In fact, something “got stuck” inside her. A few hours before the event, she took a hot dog from a freezer and defrosted it in a microwave. She left it a little bit too long, considering that she didn’t intend to eat it. So, the hot dog was softened to the point that it broke in half inside her vagina,” the nurse remembers. “I managed to remove it, but I don’t think she’ll look me in my eyes at the next high school reunion.”