A Pocket Dictionary of Phrases: Learn to Understand Women/Men!

Sometimes it seems that men and women do not speak the same language. To help you better understand women and men we offer you a small dictionary of phrases.

How to understand men?

Would anyone like to eat something? = I am hungry.
Do you want to go to the cinema? = Do you want to go to bed with me?
Have you lost weight? = Do you want to go to bed with me?
Can I help you with cooking? = Cook something already! I am hungry!
Yes, dear. =  What a nuisance you are!
I'm going fishing. =  I'm going to get really drunk.
I want you back. = I want you back, at least for one night.
What is the matter? = Something is wrong again.
Go out and have fun! = When I go out, you will not be able to reproach me.
Let's talk. = I want to make a good impression on you.
Marry me. = Cook for me, iron my clothes and clean my stuff.
I'm listening to you. = I'm not listening to you.
You are cleaning too often. = It is too noisy and I can't hear the TV.
The dress really suits you. = I like your cleavage.
This is men's stuff. = You will never understand this, no matter how hard you try.
You look good in every dress. = Just pick one dress already and let's go!

How to understand women?

Do you really love me? = I want to have new shoes, a dress and jewelery.
Do you really love me? = I did something that you will not agree with.
Do you really want to go there? = Pick something else, I do not want to go there.
Do you get on well with your mother? = Are you a family man?
Have I gained some weight? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
Do you like what I cooked? = You better do or you will be often hungry.
Be romantic, turn off the light. = I don't want you to notice that I gained some weight.
Leave me alone and let me think! = Leave me alone so I can remember all the things that are bothering me.
You are really attentive today. = You probably want me to sleep with you.
Let's go in five minutes. = Let's go in half an hour.
You look so manly. = You should shave your beard and wash yourself.
Whatever you want. = You better not do this.
You are really good with kids. = I hope we will have kids together one day.
We have to talk. = I need to complain a little.
OK, it's fine with me. = You will regret it later.
There's nothing wrong. = Something is wrong.
I don't want a serious relationship. = I'm not attracted to you.
Let's stay friends. = I'm not attracted to you.
Maybe. = No.
Well, OK. = No.
Sorry. = You will be sorry.
We need … = I want …
I had coffee with my ex. = I want you to be jealous.
This is really not practical. = I want something new.
This is interesting. = It is not interesting and I don't like it.

Would you like to know how to avoid awkward situations during sexual intercourse? Consult our Lover's Guide.